Parenting
Parenting Principles
Parenthood is a sacred responsibility given to married couples. Our bodies have been designed to procreate and that is what God intends and hopes for all of us. We have been commanded to multiply and replenish the earth even from the time of Adam and Eve. That was the first commandment given to them and God knew of their potential for parenthood.
It is important to remember that we have the ability to bring forth Heavenly Father's spirit children to earth, raise them in love and righteousness and give them opportunities to prove their faith to our Heavenly Father. We are given this responsibility as we diligently search for an eternal companion and start to create a family. It is part of Heavenly Father's plan and it has been commanded of us since the time of Adam and Eve. They knew that they would be given the wonderful blessing of bearing children but they also knew it would be difficult since they were expelled from the Garden of Eden. We have to do the same as we raise children in this difficult world full of temptations and false teachings. Heavenly Father has entrusted us with that responsibility to teach the the principles and then let them judge for themselves and make those choices so that they have their agency. We certainly will be judged for what we do as parents just like you said and I think it is important to make sure we do our best in raising Heavenly Father's spirit children. Through establishing and maintaining an eternal family, we can reach our full potential and be qualified to receive the highest degree of glory. We can develop ourselves as disciples of Christ as we have the experiences of becoming husband and wife and parents to Heavenly Father’s spirit children. It is a sacred duty for us because we have that ability to bring forth those spirit children and allow them to have a mortal experience. This is what we all need to go through to prove our faithfulness to our Heavenly Father. |
We also contribute to society as we build our family. There is not only scriptural and gospel proof of the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth but also facts, statistics and studies that show the benefits of families as well as the consequences of not heeding this commandment. Our society will fall apart if we alter what has been asked of us and we can already see that decline in what is happening in the world today and of societal notions and beliefs regarding the size of families, marriage and bearing children.
I think that the natural role we were given as women and men are critical to the eternal family. I think that these roles help us fulfill our divine nature and help us reach our full potential to what God would have us be. I think that our distinct roles, though different, are complementary to each other and must be used together. Mothers have the natural ability and responsibility to be nuturers and teachers. Fathers have the natural ability and responsibility to provide, preside and protect. When we learn to understand our roles before we start a family, I think that will add to the overall success of the eternal family. As we become married, we are now responsible for bringing children into the world. It is a sacred duty and we must take it seriously. It is a commandment! We have to understand the importance of this sacred duty so that we can do our best as we raise and nurture children in love and righteousness. President Monson said about mothers, "One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one." What a powerful statement that is to know that mothers are creators just as God is. We have that potential to be come like Him and we must fulfill that duty because it is a blessing. |
Quotes - Prophets Speak about Responsibility to Bear Children
“There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?—To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can.”
(Discourses of Brigham Young, Deseret Book Co., 1943, p. 197.)
"You did not come on earth just to “eat, drink and be merry.” You came knowing full well your responsibilities. You came to get for yourself a mortal body that could become perfected, immortalized, and you understood that you were to act in partnership with God in providing bodies for other spirits equally anxious to come to the earth for righteous purposes. And so you will not postpone parenthood. There will be rationalists who will name to you numerous reasons for postponement. Of course, it will be harder to get your college degrees or your financial start with a family, but strength like yours will be undaunted in the face of difficult obstacles. Have your family as the Lord intended. Of course it is expensive, but you will find a way, and besides, it is often those children who grow up with responsibility and hardships who carry on the world’s work. And, John and Mary, do not limit your family as the world does. I am wondering now where I might have been had my parents decided arbitrarily that one or two children would be enough, or that three or four would be all they could support, or that even five would be the limit; for I was the sixth of eleven children. Don’t think you will love the later ones less or have few material things for them. Perhaps like Jacob, you might love the eleventh one most. Young people, have your family, love them, sacrifice for them, teach them righteousness, and you will be blessed and happy all the days of your eternal lives."
(Spencer W. Kimball, “John and Mary, Beginning Life Together,” New Era, Jun 1975, 4)
(Discourses of Brigham Young, Deseret Book Co., 1943, p. 197.)
"You did not come on earth just to “eat, drink and be merry.” You came knowing full well your responsibilities. You came to get for yourself a mortal body that could become perfected, immortalized, and you understood that you were to act in partnership with God in providing bodies for other spirits equally anxious to come to the earth for righteous purposes. And so you will not postpone parenthood. There will be rationalists who will name to you numerous reasons for postponement. Of course, it will be harder to get your college degrees or your financial start with a family, but strength like yours will be undaunted in the face of difficult obstacles. Have your family as the Lord intended. Of course it is expensive, but you will find a way, and besides, it is often those children who grow up with responsibility and hardships who carry on the world’s work. And, John and Mary, do not limit your family as the world does. I am wondering now where I might have been had my parents decided arbitrarily that one or two children would be enough, or that three or four would be all they could support, or that even five would be the limit; for I was the sixth of eleven children. Don’t think you will love the later ones less or have few material things for them. Perhaps like Jacob, you might love the eleventh one most. Young people, have your family, love them, sacrifice for them, teach them righteousness, and you will be blessed and happy all the days of your eternal lives."
(Spencer W. Kimball, “John and Mary, Beginning Life Together,” New Era, Jun 1975, 4)
Parenting Practices
It is important for parents to be active in their children’s lives. That is why we are taught it is the best environment for children when both the father and the mother are present. Parents have the ability to influence their children but it is the children’s agency on whether or not they will follow their parents’ counsel. It is the duty as stated in the Proclamation that parents are to love and care for each other and their children. It is also a
”…Sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.” Parents are held accountable for these responsibilities. We can teach our children and show by example that we love and care for them. We can instill good principles, standards and values while they are young in hopes that those teachings will influence them, as they grow older to make righteous choices. We need to find a balance between discipline, teaching and love. What we will be accountable for is not the result of how our children turn out but the effort and love put into raising each child. I think that is so important to remember because I could see how easy it might be (or hard) to let a child slip away from good values. We need to constantly love them and let them know that we care for them. |
Having that good influence is important and we can establish that as we establish good relationships from the beginning. It is important to watch how we talk to them and communicate with them. I think the PowerPoint we had to view for this lesson demonstrates just how much difference a choice of words and tone of voice can make.
I think that active parents are active and present in their children’s lives. They are aware of what is going on and how they are doing spiritually, emotionally, academically and physically. They are aware because they take the time to listen, comfort, guide and support. I think these principles are evident in the Proclamation as it counsels us to achieve happiness upon the teachings of Jesus Christ. He is the ultimate example of someone who listens, comforts, guides and supports. By applying these principles, parents can be successful in their duty and will set up an ideal and happy environment for children to grow and provide them the best opportunities. |
Articles & Videos
This is a video of Dr. Glenn Latham who talks about coercion and the affects it has on children.
Here is a link to a website called Active Parenting. You can take a quiz here and analyze your parenting skills.
An excerpt by Elder L. Tom Perry regarding parenting.
A Mormon Message video by Robert D. Hales who talks about effective parenting and the influence it has on children.
A Mormon Message video that shows the most precious gift from God, which is children.
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